Leave demons alone for Christ's sake

Why are people always talking so badly about demons? I mean, if you happen to be a demon you have to be true to who you are, right? Therefore you act like a demon. What else could you do? You're a goddamned demon after all. For example, nobody runs around criticizing killer whales for terrorizing, ripping apart, eating alive cute little seals do they? Of course they don't!

So what do you think Bael -- do I get the job as your publicist?

Transport for clean clothes

I've got a question for you. In your house, how do you demarcate the laundry baskets that are to be used for clean clothes vs. the ones that are to be used for dirty clothes? We use round ones for dirty clothes and square or rectangular ones for clean clothes.

Wait, please don't tell me, I mean for the love of god please don't tell me you use the same ones for both clean and dirty! So you are putting clean clothes, fresh out of the dryer, into filth-ridden laundry baskets?? I hope you don't have children in that home! I ought to report you to the Department of Child Protective Services.

High school athlete

In your mind's eye, try to picture the kid I'm talking to in this anecdote. "You're kidding me. You're trying to tell me that YOU are actually on your high school's track team?? Oh, wait. I get it. Shot put and discus, huh?"