You should do this.

Have you ever done this? You should do this. Let me tell you what I do sometimes: At the end of the day, you think about all the food you ate that day, every snack, every meal. Now visualize it all. In your mind's eye put it all on one table on separate plates and glasses in front of you.

Now when you look at it all, do you become horrified? I know I do! Then I wonder how it is that I'm not one of those dudes who can never even get out of bed and has to be transferred out of their home with a fork lift!

Religion is like 99% of all art.

Religion is like 99% of all art. They're both inherently worthless and useless. It's only when we trick ourselves into believing that God or artwork is real and good that they can gain (a lot of) genuine value.

And that explains that even though I don't believe in God and I hate art, I have nothing to show for it.

History repeats its repetition (again).

What every generation of humanity says their kids: "This generation of kids has no respect! I know that every generation of adults probably says that, but this generation of kids is particularly bad. It's just disgusting."

A Lavatory Poem: This Is My Life

Red peppers are burning my butt.
I really now wish I hadn't eaten what I ate.
But I know I'll probably eat that same thing again.
Many times in fact.
This is my life.
I really wish I had some free will.

Kids nowadays.

These kids nowadays. I swear, I think most of them must be on drugs. Case in point: We recently got a new, cute little Golden Retriever puppy. Unfortunately one day the puppy got out of the back yard and ran off. Couldn't find it anywhere.

Now we happen to live next to an elementary school, and so I got what I thought was a good idea which was to enlist help in finding the darn thing. So as the children were getting out of school around 3pm I walked over there and asked the kids, "Hey, I lost my puppy. Can you help me? Help me find my puppy please. Come help me find my puppy!" Next thing I knew those freaky little kids began screaming, running the opposite direction with really weird looks on their faces. Yep, sadly, I think it must be drugs.

Facing life's great question.

Is there one question that has been regularly posed to you as you've gone through life? By that I mean, as the years have gone by, is there one particular question that people have seemed to ask you again and again in the various life experiences you've encountered?

For me there sure is! It seems like where ever I've been in this world occasionally someone will come up to me and ask, "Jeez Dan, how many beers have you HAD?"

Dog-goned anthropomorphism.

Believe it or not, my dog Moxie has the most amazing ability to feign incredulousness.