Glory Days

I played football in college, small college football, but I certainly have fond memories of it. I was pretty good too -- 2nd team all conference my senior year.

Now I used to like to talk about those "Glory Days" as Bruce Springsteen called them, but a problem developed. You see, a number of years after getting married, I did what a lot of dudes do. I got fat. Still am.

Why is that a problem as it pertains to talking about my Glory Days you ask? Well, I played wide receiver -- and when I used to tell people about that, they'd look perplexed (as you know, wide receivers are thin). Then I'd have to humiliatingly tell them that yes, I gained significant weight since college.

But hey, then I found a quick fix to my problem! I would just tell folks that I played tight end. (A little bulkier position right?) And that worked for a few years, but the numbers on the scale kept going up.

At some point I was reduced to telling people that I played nose guard, but now I just say that I played defensive line. The whole defensive line.