Harry and the Holy Trinity

(For Catholics Only.)

Wouldn't you just love to be a fly on the wall listening in as God the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit try to sort out what to do with the soul of your Uncle Harry (who just died)?

God: OK, I vote for sending this guy directly to Hell. He's been pissing me off for years. I almost decided to visit a highly individualized personal plague upon his ass a few years back.

Jesus: Oh, come on. He wasn't all that bad.

God: Yes he was! Don't you remember when he was breaking Commandments left and right back between his late teens and mid 30's? Jesus Christ! I can't even believe we're having this discussion.

Holy Spirit: My view is that, while Harry certainly wasn't perfect, he was essentially a kind man with a good heart -- and he did become rather spiritual towards the end.

God: "Spiritual?" "Spiritual?!" I swear-to-fucking-Me, I've heard that word used mores time in the last 10 years. What the hell's it even supposed to mean?

Holy Spirit: Hey, trust me, you're preaching to the choir here God. I just think that....

God (cutting Him off): Let me ask you guys a question: When's the last time we saw this douchebag take the Sacrament of Reconciliation? For that matter when's the last time he was even at Mass? This SOB died with more mortal sins on his soul than JFK.

Jesus: Um, Father? Take a look at this (pointing to writing on a scroll of parchment paper). Looks like old Harry lucked out. He was at Bon Secours Hospital when he died -- and even though he was totally unconscious at the time, he received Anointing of the Sick, and by a Monsignor no less.

God: What? How?

Holy Spirit (looking at the same document): When his daughter checked him in at the hospital that night, on the paperwork she filled out she wrote Catholic in the "religion" box. This is sure to put this fellow over the top. He's bubble/IN.

God (disgusted): OK, OK, but I want maximum temporal punishment for this little puke. Take our current Purgatory max and double it!

Jesus: Will do Father. I'm on it. Hey Pete! Can you come in here? We've got a new tenant I want to talk to you about.