Logical Fallacies in Argument

Lately I've been learning about logical fallacies in argument. It's really interesting.

Here's a great example: Adolf Hitler was evil. Adolf Hitler loved chocolate cake. Therefore people who love chocolate cake are evil. Makes sense right?

Come on. Please. Just use your common sense. Everybody knows (or should know) that evil people prefer devil's food cake -- but not because of the mere fact that it happens to be chocolate-flavored.

Additionally, simple reasoning would seem to imply that someone like Count Chocula, for example, would of course love chocolate cake. However, further inspection clearly tells us that, as a cartoon character, he doesn't really need much in terms of physical subsistence. Therefore, oddly (and super ironically), Count Chacula doesn't probably eat any chocolate cake at all!

See how this works?

Cookie Monster on soccer

Cookie Monster: Me know it very hip and manly to say me hate soccer. So me hate soccer very very much!!

Juxtapose this, cowpoke.

I've been experimenting lately with inventing and utilizing bizarre juxtapositions for the purposes of comedic effect.

It takes a lot of creativity but, for example, here's one I've just come up with: Imagine this, a cowboy who rides not a horse -- but an ostrich! Crazy funny right? I'm thinking of working it into a Christmas-related writing project I'm working on right now.

Helen Keller on security and danger

Helen Keller apparently said, "Security is mostly a superstition, it does not exist in nature. Avoiding danger is no safer than outright exposure."

I think it's a thought provoking quote but I have to say that in addition to all her other problems, I read somewhere that she was dumb -- so forgive me if I really don't put too much stock in her "words of wisdom".

Dan sees your future.

Hey, check this out. I want you to think of an activity you do on a fairly regular basis now, and have done for the last few years.

Got something you're thinking of? Good. (You'll be putting it into the blank space below.)

Here's my prediction: Someday many years from now, when you are very old, you will at some point say the following line: "You know, I remember years and years ago, back in the late aughts, I used to ___________ all the time!"

Fun in bright orange

Do you know what I think would be really funny? Put fake handcuffs on one of your wrists, get dressed in a bright orange jump suit and run along the median strip of the highway -- all the while trying to keep a desperate look on your face.

Yeah, that would be hilarious! I think I'm going to ask my friend Paul if he'll do it.

Ben Franklin, wine, God, and poison ivy

Ben Franklin apparently said, "Wine is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy." If that's true, then I wonder why he put poison ivy here with us? Oh, wait, I think I know. So that we can sneak and sow it into the gardens of the devil people we come across in life. Lord knows they've got it coming.

Palm Pre Lady and me.

Day 1: Did you see the Palm Pre Lady on TV? I really like her.
Day 2: I think I might have an unhealthy obsession with the Palm Pre Lady.
Day 3: I know this might sound weird but I think the Palm Pre Lady is talking to me specifically in those ads.
Day 4: I'm in love with the Palm Pre Lady and she's in love with me too -- and we don't care what people think.
Day 5: Palm Pre Lady, why did you dis me in the new ad last night? I will not be ignored!!
Day 6: Palm Pre Lady, my doctor says it's not really your fault, what I think you're doing to me.
Day 7: This new medicine is really making me sleepy.
Day 8: Palm Pre Lady, do you have a sister?

Definition of Insanity

Many people have done the same thing, over and over, and ultimately achieved a different, way, way, cooler result.

Prejudice pharmacy

I think it's outrageous that there are pharmacies that brag about being "homeopathic." Gay folks need to get their prescriptions filled too for crying out loud!