How to be an ignoramus.

I found a great way to get people to recoil with horrified, condescending disgust at me. You can try it too if you'd like. Next time you see a parent, minding his/her own business, walking along with their visibly Down syndrome-affected kid just walk up to them and say, "Hey, I got just three words for you: Amnio-Cen-Tesis!"

On Christians, Crickets and Politics

Do you like to listen to crickets? Would you like to experience their quiet, soothing, peaceful sounds? Try this.

Step 1) Find a right wing Christian and confront him with one of his own, shall we say, incongruent-with-Christianity political views.

Step 2) As him, with respect to this particular issue, WWJD?

Step 3) Listen.

Risk aversion in modern sports media playback.

Wanna know exactly how risk-averse any dude happens to be? Just find out how much extra time he typically adds when recording a live sporting event on his DVR. (Souce: New England Journal of Dan Green Bullshit)

Pondering the Atheist to Evangelical Christian cross-over.

Some people make me so mad with their holier-than-thou, piece-of-crap political, religious, and societal views that, even though I'm basically an atheist sometimes I wish I could convert to Evangelical Christian so that I could take comfort in the fact that while I'm going to heaven, those bastards are going to rot in Hell!