Twin image

Do you have a friend who has a wife or daughter who's slightly overweight? Great! He's a funny joke you can play on him.

When you're out in public somewhere, say a bank or supermarket, send your friend a text that says; "OMG, there is a woman/girl here who could be your wife's/daughter's twin." Quickly follow up with another text saying: "Hey, I'll see if I can surreptitiously take a picture of her!" Final text: "Here you go bro. Spooky huh?" (You attach a pic of a very overweight female the same approximate age, with the same approximate hair color and length as the dude's wife/daughter.) He won't stop laughing!

Dyslexia Frustratia

It seems like you hear about a lot of people who say they have dyslexia. And I'm sure many people really do. But let's face it, and I'm sure you've thought the same thing, some of those folks who say they are dyslexic are not. They are just dumbasses trying to make an excuse for the fact that they can't write or spell, which just drags down the real dyslexic dudes who, when trying to explain their handicap have to be thinking, "I know this person doesn't believe me -- he just thinks I'm a dumbass who lies to try to explain his dumbassness. Fuck! This sucks!"