Cheers! It's a new start!

You've heard it before: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." And it's really just so true when you think about it. So don't feel bad about going out there and getting drunk as all heck today. Just consider it a big kick-off event/celebration!

Antigeneticism

If you care tremendously about who specifically your ancestors were, you may allow that to define you as a person to some extent. And if then, for whatever reason, I happen to not like you as a person I indirectly then judge negatively the person you've become because of who your ancestors were.

If, however, you don't really care that much about who your ancestors were, you will define yourself and become the person you become independent of who your ancestors were. In that case I will like or dislike you entirely without any correlation to who your ancestors were.

So I say, for all those folks involved, let's not get too hung up on dead people with whom we share a few genes.

Do NOT drink wine while cooking.

My friends, please learn from my mistake. Drinking wine, even a little bit, while preparing dinner for your kids on a Friday night is a very bad idea.

Case in point: last night while attempting to preheat the oven to 400 degrees for frozen pizza I accidently pushed the "0" button one extra time, making it 4000, and when I went to put it in the oven both the pizza and my right hand incinerated instantly.

Do you think you have free will? You do not.

Do you think you have free will? You do not.

Oh now don't start getting all indignant on me. Just settle down and let me ask you a question. If you had been alive back before the civil war, born a son or daughter to a wealthy slave owner in the South, would you have gone along with the program, or would you have said: "No! Slavery is wrong. You can stick your legacy where the sun don't shine Dad. I'm moving to the North!"

Please have the intellectual honesty to say you likely would have become a slave owner too.

And don't be all sad now. Just because you realize you have no free will doesn't mean you can't become more enlightened. In fact, you just did!

Natural Intelligence?

Wouldn't you agree that Nature as a whole is more intelligent than the collective human consciousness? Of course you would. So if there really is no God, why do we see praying mantises?

Umpire ego

I hate it when sarcastic umpires twirl their finger in the air like: "Whooppity-do for you A-hole, you just got a home run. You wanna cookie?!"

Life In Hell

I like to think about all the souls that are currently being tortured in hell. In the grand scheme of things, if you think about it, not too very long ago they didn't even exist.

Since the beginning of time those poor folks were in the world of "nonexistence" so to speak, and then one day God created them as a new baby human being, and in essentially a blip of time later, they lived their life and were dead. At that point God decided to put them in hell for eternity. Seemingly all in the blink of an eye they were created and then put into perpetual torture.

And they're like: "Hey nobody even asked me if I wanted to be created in the first place! What's up with that?"