RIP? Rest in peace? Ha!

As many of you know, if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, I am an Evangelical Christian.  As such, I am often offended by what I see on twitter when folks post things like RIP (rest in peace) whenever someone dies who pretty clearly wasn't "saved" at the time of their death (for example: Catholics, Jews, atheists and so forth). Let's face it, RIP doesn't apply to those folks.

So I here today propose we use either BIH (burn in hell) or BBB (burn baby burn). Much more apt, much more honest. Are you with me?

Be more Christlike

Regardless of your religion, I think we could all agree that the world would be a lot better off if people tried to act more Christlike. As for me, I know that I'm trying to be more Christlike!

Here's an example, I've got this thing I'm doing now: when I meet and talk to people I tell them that I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread -- the ruler of the universe -- and if they don't pray to me and tell me exactly what I want to hear, I'm seriously going to consider torturing them, non-stop, for the next billion, gazillion years!

Scooby-Doo episode

I watched the oddest episode of Scooby-Doo yesterday -- never seen that one before. As usual, the gang did a great job of solving the mystery and exposing the bad guy, but at the end, when they confronted him with all the facts, the fellow just lawyered-up and left the kids frustrated and bewildered.

Pepto emergency

Oh my god! I wonder if I should call the doctor?!? What happens if you have a stomach ache but you mistake calamine lotion for Pepto? I am going to die??? Well, probably not. I mean, I didn't ingest it yet, but still -- scary!!

So, no on the doctor thing then?

The Spin of the Union

State of the Union speeches are always the same. I don't like to watch them. Let's face it, regardless of who the president is, the whole thing is basically PR spin, namely for two things: the USA and himself. Same thing every time, every president. When he's spinning for the country the entire room claps. When he's spinning for himself half the room claps.

Yours and Mine: our awesome, insightful tweets

"I simply don't understand why the twitter world doesn't ever appear to care about my tweets on current events. I mean, I put a lot of thought into them. I even try to make them clever or funny sometimes. I guess the idiots on Twitter are just too dumb! Fuck it!"*


*As thought by millions of twitter users, all over the world, every day.

The paradox of how to treat the enemy

What a world we live in! It's so funny to me that it's perfectly fine to shoot, kill, maim, drone bomb the enemy (along with innocent bystanders by the way -- collateral damage). The guys who do that on our behalf are American heroes, and we applaud them every chance we get! But by gosh, whatever you do, do not waterboard the enemy. That's immoral!