The Catholic Church is tacitly OK with being gay

I happen to believe that that the Catholic Church gives tacit approval to homosexuality, well at least male homosexuality anyway. Proof? Check out (their version) of the 10 Commandments.

Specifically, look at #9:  You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.

I don't see anything in there about coveting your neighbor's husband, do you? No?? So have at it boys!

The pitfalls of simultaneous use of digital media

Social media's great. I love getting on there -- exchanging ideas, talking with friends.

Same goes for the modern day DVR -- love it. Like most of us, because I'm so busy, I'd say it must be at least half the ball games I watch I do so using the tape delay -- I'm usually anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours behind the live action.

The problem is, the two don't mix, do they? I mean, I'm sure it's happened to you. You're watching this great game (on delay) and without thinking you hop on Facebook and some asshole "friend" of yours has just posted, "Wow! Great victory for [INSERT TEAM NAME HERE]! We're going to the Super Bowl this year!"

Fuck! Now what am I going to do with my evening -- actually interact with my family?!

Viagra Lady

Day 1: Did you see the Viagra Lady on TV? I really like her.
Day 2: I think I might have an unhealthy obsession with the Viagra Lady.
Day 3: I know this might sound weird but I think the Viagra Lady is talking to me specifically in those ads.
Day 4: I'm in love with the Viagra Lady and she's in love with me too -- and we don't care what people think.
Day 5: Viagra Lady, why did you dis me in the ad last night? I will not be ignored!!
Day 6: Viagra Lady, my doctor says it's not really your fault, what I think you're doing to me.
Day 7: This new medicine is really making me sleepy.
Day 8: Viagra Lady, do you have a sister?

(Reprised from my Palm Pre Lady post from Aug 9, 2009.)

Bill Bixby and Yahweh

Question: What does Dr. David Banner as played by Bill Bixby on the TV show The Incredible Hulk have in common with the God of the Old Testament?

Answer: They both have the same catch-phrase: "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

DINK Facebook Posts

I've noticed a phenomenon on Facebook that I don't think has a name yet, so I'll just call it: "DINK Facebook Posts." You may recall the acronym DINK stands for "dual income no kids," and boy, do these folks know how to live!  So go ahead and check out some DINK Facebook Posts and fully appreciate just how mundane and dragged-down your life really is. #parenting

Twin image

Do you have a friend who has a wife or daughter who's slightly overweight? Great! He's a funny joke you can play on him.

When you're out in public somewhere, say a bank or supermarket, send your friend a text that says; "OMG, there is a woman/girl here who could be your wife's/daughter's twin." Quickly follow up with another text saying: "Hey, I'll see if I can surreptitiously take a picture of her!" Final text: "Here you go bro. Spooky huh?" (You attach a pic of a very overweight female the same approximate age, with the same approximate hair color and length as the dude's wife/daughter.) He won't stop laughing!

Dyslexia Frustratia

It seems like you hear about a lot of people who say they have dyslexia. And I'm sure many people really do. But let's face it, and I'm sure you've thought the same thing, some of those folks who say they are dyslexic are not. They are just dumbasses trying to make an excuse for the fact that they can't write or spell, which just drags down the real dyslexic dudes who, when trying to explain their handicap have to be thinking, "I know this person doesn't believe me -- he just thinks I'm a dumbass who lies to try to explain his dumbassness. Fuck! This sucks!"