Monday, May 4, 2009

Dear Barney, you're fired.

Dear Barney,

You are one arrogant Dinosaur. You think you're all that and a slice of zucchini to boot? Wrong!

You haven't taught my kids jack squat. Oh, I see, you think that's my job as a parent? Well what am I paying the cable company for then? It's not even football season right now.

Let me tell you something. Here's how my four year old daughter "washes" her hands: She turns on the water faucet. She pumps a ball of foam soap onto her right hand. She then puts that hand directly into the water stream palm side up (at a 45 degree angle) and all the soap goes instantly down the drain. Soap's all gone before the other hand even gets in there! Near as I can figure out she appears to believe the ultimate objective of hand washing is to move the soap from the pump to the drain as quickly and efficiently as possible.

I will admit I have seen your (rather weak) episode on tooth brushing, but to my knowledge you've never even once addressed the mechanics of hand washing. We've decided to move all of our business to the Backyardigans.

Sincerely,
Dan Green

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