Jesus, Darwin and the Tooth Fairy

I'm not a religious person at all but like many of us, I've been entertained by back-and-forth that's gone on over the years between the Jesus fish people and the Darwin footed-fish-thingy folks, the battlefield being the backs of their cars.

The coup de gras as far as I'm concerned is when the very large fish with the word TRUTH tattooed to its belly was seen eating the little Darwin animal. That hurt, and the Darwin people never recovered.

Frankly I was happy to see it. I guess that's because I've always felt a little disturbed by the person who would go through the trouble to put that silly little Darwin thing on his car in the first place. I mean, I can see why the Jesus people do it -- that's their faith. But what are the Darwin dudes trying to say about themselves? That they're really smart? That they've got it figured out?

I've always just wanted to go up to one of these people and say, "Do you want a cookie? You're a big boy now, you deserve a cookie! You figured that out all by yourself, that evolution is actually real, and you want us all to know that you indeed do know that. Wow, you are really an open-minded man of science! Say, I have some bumper stickers here that I am going to give to you as a gift so that you can feel even more enlightened, and everyone will know the depth of your awareness:"

• Professional wrestling is FAKE!!
• Santa Clause is a HOAX!!
• The Tooth Fairy is actually a highly simplified parent-to-child PONZI SCHEME!!

You go girl/boy! I am SO proud of you!